Funeral Poems
A Trusted Celebrants guide for families, funeral directors and celebrants
Choosing a poem for a funeral or celebration of life can be one of the most personal decisions a family makes.
The right words can bring comfort, reflect someone’s personality, capture a relationship, or simply say something that feels impossible to put into your own words.
At Trusted Celebrants, we believe there is no single “right” type of funeral reading. Some families choose traditional poetry, others prefer modern prose, religious scripture, a favourite song lyric, or something that makes everyone smile.
This guide has been created as a useful resource for families arranging a funeral, funeral directors supporting families, and professional celebrants preparing funeral services.
A reading does not have to be famous or traditional. The most meaningful choice is often something that connects with the person who has died and the people who loved them.
Traditional
Funeral Poems...
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep — Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932)
Perhaps one of the most requested funeral poems in the UK, this short verse offers profound comfort by reimagining the continuing presence of the person who has died.
It can be particularly appropriate for families looking for something reassuring and reflective, with its imagery of nature and the idea that someone we love remains around us in different ways.
Poem:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
Remember Me — Christina Rossetti (1849)
Rossetti’s quietly dignified poem gives the person who has died a generous, loving voice — releasing those left behind from prolonged grief.
It can work particularly well when a family wants to acknowledge the importance of remembering someone while also recognising that grief changes over time.
Poem:
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Crossing the Bar — Alfred Lord Tennyson (1889)
Tennyson wrote this shortly before his death and requested it be placed at the end of all collections of his work.
Using the imagery of a ship setting out to sea, the poem can provide a serene and hopeful way of reflecting upon death and the journey beyond life.
Poem:
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.
Death Is Nothing at All — Henry Scott Holland (1910)
Originally a sermon given at St Paul’s Cathedral following the death of King Edward VII, these words have become a cornerstone of funeral services across Britain.
Its conversational style can be especially effective when read aloud, and many families find its message of continuity and familiar memories comforting.
Poem/Reading:
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
Requiem — Robert Louis Stevenson (1887)
Short, memorable and particularly suited to someone who loved the sea, travelling or the outdoors, Stevenson’s Requiem is a much-loved funeral poem.
Its final image of the sailor returning home makes it particularly powerful for certain families.
Poem:
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.
This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from the sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
Modern Funeral Poems...
Not every family wants a traditional poem.
Modern prose and contemporary poetry can sometimes express feelings in a much more straightforward way. These readings are frequently considered for UK funerals and celebrations of life.
She Is Gone (He Is Gone) — David Harkins
This deceptively simple poem offers two paths through grief, and gently advocates for joy over sorrow.
It is often chosen because it encourages people to concentrate not only on the loss, but also on the life that was shared.
Copyright notice: David Harkins holds copyright to this poem. Permission should be sought before reproducing it in printed order-of-service booklets. Funeral directors and celebrants can advise families about appropriate use.
Poem:
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
David Harkins
When I Am Gone — Joyce Grenfell (c. 1977)
Humorous and warm, Grenfell’s words can be particularly appropriate for someone whose personality was full of life, humour and spirit.
It reminds mourners that although grief is real, the person who has died would not necessarily want those left behind to lose themselves in sorrow.
Poem:
If I should go before the rest of you,
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone.
Nor when I’m gone speak in a Sunday voice,
But be the usual selves that I have known.
Weep if you must,
Parting is hell,
But life goes on,
So sing as well.
Feel No Guilt In Laughter (Anon) - Male Version
Feel no guilt in laughter, he’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He’d hope that you could live your life the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
the days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
will suddenly recapture a time, an hour or a day,
that brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
and fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
and he will live forever locked safely within your heart.
Feel No Guilt In Laughter (Anon) - Female Version
Feel no guilt in laughter, she’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that she is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; she would not want you to.
She’d hope that you could live your life the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
the days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
will suddenly recapture a time, an hour or a day,
that brings her back as clearly as though she were still here,
and fills you with the feeling that she is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
and she will live forever locked safely within your heart.
Remember Me
By Margaret Mead
To the living, I am gone,
To the sorrowful, I will never return,
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea,
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity,
Remember me.
Remember me in your heart:
Your thoughts, and your memories,
Of the times we loved,
The times we cried,
The times we fought,
The times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.
Margaret Mead
A Long Cup of Tea – Michael Ashby
Death is too negative for me
So I’ll be popping off for a long cup of tea
Do splash out on two tea bags in the pot
And for God’s sake keep the water hot
Please pick the biggest mug you can find
Size really does matter at this time
I’ll pass on the lapsang with that souchong
And that stuff with bergamot
And stick with my favourite friend
You know the English breakfast blend
Breakfast! Thanks for reminding me
There’s just time before I fail
To stand on ceremony
Two rashers of best back, should keep me
Smelling sweet up the smokestack
So, mother, put the kettle on for me
It’s time, mother, for my long cup of tea
Gone but not Forgotten – Ellen Brenneman
Don’t think of her/him as gone away
Her/ His journey’s just begun,
Life hold so many facets
This earth is only one.
Just think of her/him as resting
From the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days and years.
Think how she/he must be wishing
That we could know today
How nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away.
And think of her/him as living
In the hearts of those she/he touched
For nothing is ever lost
And she/he was loved so much.
One At Rest (Anon)
Think of me as one at rest,
for me you should not weep
I have no pain no troubled thoughts
for I am just asleep
The living thinking me that was,
is now forever still
And life goes on without me now,
as time forever will.
If your heart is heavy now
because I’ve gone away
Dwell not long upon it friend
For none of us can stay
Those of you who liked me,
I sincerely thank you all
And those of you who loved me,
I thank you most of all.
And in my fleeting lifespan,
as time went rushing by
I found some time to hesitate,
to laugh, to love, to cry
Matters it now if time began
If time will ever cease?
I was here, I used it all,
and now I am at peace.
Kelly Roper – Pardon Me for Not Getting Up
Oh dear, if you’re reading this right now,
I must have given up the ghost.
I hope you can forgive me for being
Such a stiff and unwelcoming host.
Just talk amongst yourself my friends,
And share a toast or two.
For I am sure you will remember well
How I loved to drink with you.
Don’t worry about mourning me,
I was never easy to offend.
Feel free to share a story at my expense
And we’ll have a good laugh at the end.
Mary Frye – AFTERGLOW
I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
Linda Ellis – The Dash
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
From the beginning…to the end
He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time
That they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
Know what that little line is worth
For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering this special dash
Might only last a little while
So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent YOUR dash?